Meaningful Connections

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES and FREUD

                     A SECULARIST PERSPECTIVE

Among anomalous phenomena attracting wide spread attention such as UFOs, synchronicities, and alien abductions is that of near death experiences. Reports of near death experiences [ndes] have been gathered from all over the world bearing striking similarities with respect to their experienced content.

A SURPRISE E MAIL STIRS CHILLS FROM SIGNIFICANT MEMORIES

                 FROM OUT OF THE BLUE

It was one of those days that was decidely a mixed bag. On the one hand, scheduled sessions with my patients proved to be exceedingly productive and fulfilling.  On the other, I was feeling increasingly frustrated in not being able to propel myself onto the next level of my personal and professional aspirations. I was aware of feeling unusually fulfilled in my here and now but all but squelched in my seemingly futile attempts to ascend to the clearly defined goals of my there and then. Then in the midst of my drifting aimlessly through the mesmerizing colors of my computer chasing url to url, information to information, form to form I got a surprise E Mail.

A BIRTH - DAY STORY

                      "HAPPY BIG 7 ZERO DAD" 

You have to appreciate the context to understand what is going to follow.

As the decades have passed - my birth - day has gradually receded in importance. Not that I am against celebrations or birthday cakes or getting presents, and all those kinds of things. But making a special fuss over having been born on a certain day that is ritualized - oh you all know what I mean.

SUPERBOWL HERE WE COME

GENERALLY I AM NOT A JOINER BUT COME SUPERBOWL DAY IT IS ANOTHER ISSUE

Only 3 hours and 50 minutes and it will be time once again to exercize for the day by turning on the TV to my only religious ritual of the year: THE SUPERBOWL.

A LIFE DEFINING MOMENT - A RARE AND IMPORTANT PERSONAL EVENT

  A PIVOTAL EXPERIENCE ENABLED MY LIFE TO TAKE A TURN FOR THE BEST

I concur with many wise thinkers that while people in general aspire to making significant changes  in fact such changes are hard to come by. The reason for this is that most human beings - me included - are creatures of habit. Another reason why change is hard won is that - as Kiekegaard says: "to venture is to cause anxiety." As most people are anxious about feeling anxious - one way to avoid the displeasure of anxiety is to avoid risk taking in favor of eternally repeating the familiar. Another bar to change is the weightiness of pride. Segue to turning back the clock many decades   to when I was a Junior in High School.

MY SON EXPECTS TO BE A YANKEE - A DREAM OF GLORY

DON'T MANY TWELVE YEAR OLDS EXPECT TO BE A YANKEE?

Mike has wanted to be a pitcher for the Yankees ever since he started playing ball on the local little league team. I know this is hardly going to make New York Times headlines. It seems as if the country is going sports crazy. It is almost impossible these days for a half way normal kid not to get swept up in the collective expectation to get on multiple sports team as soon as they can almost catch a ball with two hands and not cry.

KNOWLEDGE IS POTENTIAL POWER

       IGNORANCE IS FRUSTRATING NOT BLISSFUL

Significant change is possible but often requires a great deal of effort to make it happen. Change, or the need to make some kind of  change, is largely motivated by feeling quintessentially stuck. Stuckness either takes the form of wanting to do something one can't begin to do; and/or one want's to stop doing something one can't begin to stop doing. Thus we human beings often find ourselves to be slaves to "repetition compulsion" - that is caught on a wheel of positive or negative inertia - creatures of habit - suffering whatever.

HOW I LEARNED TO TOLERATE MY OWN FRUSTRATION

SIGNIFICANT PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGE IS POSSIBLE BUT HARD TO OBTAIN

Between the ages of 19 and 30 I "failed" psychotherapy two different times. Although I tried my best to change, the key to success eluded me. It was only during my third attempt in my psychoanalysis "to get myself together"  that I finally found a workable formula for making significant  change.

A necessary first step in the process of  making  significant psychological changes is to develop an objective {realistic}attitude in experiencing  the inevitability of frustration and other so called 'negative' affects. A list  includes: anxiety, depression, confusion,complexity, chaos, feeling stuck,ambiguity, ambivalence, not knowing, and the likes.

The following summarizes how I learned to tolerate my own frustration.,

LEARNING TO COPE WITH FEAR AND ANXIETY

THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING NOW SO YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO COPE

All life threatening events are different but they share a common psychological response. They induce fear, anxiety, and other highly unpleasant affects causing undo suffering. Although it is tempting to lament ones sorry state insisting this is not how the story of their particular life was supposed to have been written, hard nosed reality sticks out its tongue at the protester implicitly saying tough! Thus in the face of such unwanted, often unfair, intrusions there is little choice than to use ones residual energies to do the best one can to keep oneself and ones concerns protected and functioning. In other words – if choosing activity and life instead of surrendering to passivity and death there is no other choice than to learn how to cope.

A TRIBUTE TO MICKEY SPILLANE FROM A GRATEFUL ONE TIME ELEVEN YEAR OLD

NEVER LET GOING TO SCHOOL INTERFERE WITH GETTING A GOOD EDUCATION

I had a key memory of Mickey Spillane just one day before he died, recalling my discovery of his steamy I The Jury  when I was a curious but relatively naive 11 year old.