TRY, TRY, and TRY AGAIN

         SOMETIMES HISTORY DOES NOT REPEAT ITSELF

It is difficult to know exactly what it is that motivates people to do what they do - including myself. For this reason I liked the concept of overdetermined - meaning that any behavior, when analyzed, has multiple determinants not just one.

   

EXPERIENCE I

So - when I returned to High School to see my favorite English teacher when I was about twenty five I hoped she would acclaim me as one of her favorite students. I longed for recognition and hoped that by obtaining it from a favorite teacher it would convince me that I deserved it.

The reunion was decidely a mixed bag. I walked in on her as she was teaching a class. As I hoped she would upon noticing me she smiled broadly, stopped lecturing to the class, eagerly waved for me to come inside. That was the good news. Then she asked me if I would like to teach the class.

I was stunned. In a split second two opposing ideas were at war as I simultaneously felt myself drowning in a sea of negative feelings - the chief one of which was panic anxiety resulting in show stopping confusion.

I had aspired so high and fell so humiliating low in an instant.

I somehow managed to pull myself together enough to go through the visit with the rest of me somewhat intact. But altogether the experience was humbling and humilating at best.

EXPERIENCE TWO

Twenty Years Later

My workshop proposal was accepted to talk about Demystifing Meaningful Coincidences (Synchronicities). Finally I was given a public forum to discuss the results of my decades long research of these perplexing events.

There was a large audience of over 100 people. I was filled with excitement. Among the various meanings that day was the opportunity of redoing history by feelings as if I was walking back into the traumatic class room above and scoring a triumph.

It did not dawn on me until about five minutes before I was to begin that I was unclear as to how to pace myself so I could do justice to all of the material I had and wanted to present. This was not something I should have reckoned with five minutes before my next "performance."

Indeed, I choked once again. Many of the participants paid me compliments but I knew that I had failed to meet my lofty standard once again.

Fifteen Year Later

A few months ago I received a request to be on an internet radio program called The Infinite Consciousness. My name had been given to Eva Herr - the shows moderator - who said she thought my 40 year researching of synchronicities would be of interest to the program's followers.

Here we go again I thought. Only this time I finally learned my lesson. The need for recognition is still a strong motivator but more motivating is the need to master the material. So this time I have prepared well in advance. I know the material cold or should I say hot?

I may not be as effective as I would like to be but it will not be because I choke.

So in this connection I would like to invite any interested Gaherers to listen in thsi evening. The details follow:

I will be on the Eva Herr radio show tonight - January 14, 2007 - at 10 PM Eastern Standard Time discussing my 40 year synchronicity research.

http://www.bbsradio.com/bbc/infinite_consciousness.php

The station requires that you pay $4.95 for a one month subscription. The program will also be archived for later listening. The Eva Herr show is called Infinite Consciousness. There are many additional interesting archived interviews by well known authorities in the field of consciousness who are attempting to combine science and spirituality.

Conclusion: The past will inevitably be repeated in the present unless consciousness intervenes in such a way as to interrupt the habitual cause and effect chains. That can only occur if their is a great deal of effort to stuggle with struggle to master the material of the moment.

Comments

[Equannadup]

hi привед

[moncler polo]

Your method of telling everything in this paragraph is in fact pleasant, all be able to effortlessly know it, Thanks a lot.
moncler polo http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php?id=5

[piumino moncler]

I and also my pals appeared to be studying the good solutions on your website and so all of the sudden came up with an awful feeling I never thanked the site owner for those secrets. Those young men were definitely for that reason thrilled to read them and now have in fact been taking advantage of these things. Appreciation for genuinely very helpful and for choosing varieties of good subject areas millions of individuals are really needing to understand about. Our own honest apologies for not saying thanks to sooner.
piumino moncler http://www.hotelmonreale.it/Moduli/moncler/index.asp?id=13

[piumini moncler 2012]

Hello.This article was really interesting, especially since I was browsing for thoughts on this matter last Monday.
piumini moncler 2012 http://www.pentalight.it/moncler.php?id=8

[moncler bambina]

Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I抣l be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently fast.
moncler bambina http://www.pentalight.it/moncler.php

[giubbotto moncler uomo]

I am continuously looking online for tips that can help me. Thank you!
giubbotto moncler uomo http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php?id=14

[giacconi moncler]

Magnificent web site. A lot of helpful info here. I am sending it to some friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And certainly, thanks in your sweat!
giacconi moncler http://www.chialagunaresort.com/temi/moncler/index.asp?id=13

[moncler outlet]

Iˇve learn some excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you set to create such a excellent informative web site.
moncler outlet http://www.chialagunaresort.com/temi/moncler/index.asp

[moncler shop]

What's up, always i used to check website posts here early in the break of day, for the reason that i like to find out more and more.
moncler shop http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=6

[negozi moncler milano]

wonderful post, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector do not notice this. You should continue your writing. I'm sure, you have a great readers' base already!
negozi moncler milano http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=5

[giacconi moncler]

I'm still learning from you, but I'm trying to reach my goals. I absolutely enjoy reading all that is posted on your website.Keep the posts coming. I liked it!
giacconi moncler http://www.chialagunaresort.com/temi/moncler/index.asp?id=13

[collezione moncler 2012]

What's up, I just wanted to mention, you're dead wrong. Your blog doesn't make any sense.
collezione moncler 2012 http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php?id=15

[ehlwplxoo]

aehlwplxoo
[url=http://www.g905vj0n9dm2jv4vgdc6e75m477w58i8s.org/]uehlwplxoo[/url]
ehlwplxoo http://www.g905vj0n9dm2jv4vgdc6e75m477w58i8s.org/

[moncler donna]

I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don't know who you are but certainly you're going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers!
moncler donna http://www.hotelmonreale.it/Moduli/moncler/index.asp?id=10

[moncler 2012]

What's up, all the time i used to check blog posts here in the early hours in the break of day, for the reason that i like to gain knowledge of more and more.
moncler 2012 http://www.chialagunaresort.com/temi/moncler/index.asp?id=6

[moncler sito ufficiale collezione 2013]

Itˇs actually a great and useful piece of info. Iˇm glad that you just shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
moncler sito ufficiale collezione 2013 http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php?id=3

[moncler piumini uomo]

Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it's truly informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I抣l be grateful if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!
moncler piumini uomo http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php

[moncler bady]

I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You're incredible! Thanks!
moncler bady http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=2

[giacca moncler]

Hi there, always i used to check blog posts here early in the morning, as i love to learn more and more.
giacca moncler http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=4

[moncler piumini uomo]

I truly wanted to develop a quick remark to be able to thank you for all of the nice strategies you are placing at this site. My incredibly long internet look up has now been honored with brilliant points to exchange with my friends and family. I would claim that many of us site visitors are definitely lucky to live in a great site with many perfect people with helpful guidelines. I feel very grateful to have encountered your web site and look forward to some more fabulous times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.
moncler piumini uomo http://www.videotecnica.net/moncler.php

[outlet moncler milano]

Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.
outlet moncler milano http://www.pentalight.it/moncler.php?id=11

[moncler outlet veneto]

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is magnificent, as well as the content!
moncler outlet veneto http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=14

[moncler verona]

Keep working ,impressive job!
moncler verona http://www.milanofashioncity.com/img/ber.php?id=13

[outlet moncler]

Hello to every one, for the reason that I am in fact keen of reading this web site抯 post to be updated daily. It carries good data.
outlet moncler http://www.hotelmonreale.it/Moduli/moncler/index.asp?id=3

[spaccio moncler]

Someone essentially help to make severely articles I might state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and so far? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular post incredible. Excellent job!
spaccio moncler http://www.hotelmonreale.it/Moduli/moncler/index.asp?id=8